It's super frustrating, isn't it? What ends up happening? You keep tugging and making it worse.
Silly example - I was trying to undo a tangled up necklace recently when I was running late for something. It was a ridiculous few minutes of struggle until I gave up and told myself that that wasn't the time to do it.
It's only when you force yourself to slow down and methodically work through a seemingly impossible problem that it starts to unravel the way it should. The old adage is, when you walk into a code blue in the hospital, check your pulse first, then check the patient's. You have to be able to turn inward and settle in to the right frame of mind to show up and do hard things.
I am reminded of this again and again when I don't give myself space to just be - whether it's meditation, journaling, yoga, or being fully present with loved ones. When you're feeling depleted, it's easy to get caught up in unhelpful thoughts peppered with guilt and worry around unfinished items on the to-do list, unrealized aspirations, self-criticism, and even hopelessness and overwhelm. It can be a vicious cycle of trying to busy oneself to avoid a shame spiral of inadequacy - but it's the same useless coping strategy that keeps us angrily tugging at knots that won't budge.
But when I allow myself to turn inward with loving kindness and trust that I have what I need and that I am truly enough, even when I feel stuck in knots, that is a powerful act of self-compassion and healing. I think that's why contemplative practices are so radically effective - they ground us in the important stuff while softening even the most formidable obstacles.
So next time you're faced with a knotted mess, put a little trust in yourself to meet it with equanimity. And if you feel like you can't at that moment, sometimes stepping away to get into a better headspace is the right move. Regardless, tough times are inevitable, but how you support yourself in facing those challenges is what really matters.
