You're in charge of you

Some people turn to alcohol, recreational drugs, or overconsumption of food as a way to fire their dopamine reward pathways. My issue? I'm a recovering workaholic. 

Well, let's be honest - I still work way too hard, but I can't deny how much my work gives me joy. To be there for people during some of the most vulnerable parts of their lives - from welcoming a baby into the world to holding space for someone thinking about leaving this world - it is an incredible privilege. It's truly rewarding to be this anchor for folks - but it's a double-edged sword, as we can take on so much and not see ourselves buckling under the pressure.

It's easy to make yourself last when everyone/everything else is consuming your attention. Caregivers, I see you! I am on a constant journey of figuring out boundary setting and recognizing my limitations as a human being. It wasn't until I started treating my self-care like work - with scheduled exercise, recuperation time, and healthy lifestyle goal-setting that I started feeling like I had some efficacy in my own life and wellness. Weirdly, I think I kept waiting around for someone/something to hold me accountable to get myself in gear. Who/what was I waiting for? 

At the end of the day, you have to remember that you are in charge of you. No one else can make you decide to give yourself rest, nourish yourself, heal from trauma, or optimize your well-being in general. I think so often we de-emphasize it in this work-obsessed world we live in because there aren't deadlines around our lives. I mean, one day we do die, but we all assume it is far away, that we have all the time in the world. But that's never a guarantee. Sometimes horrible things have to happen to us to really reorient - whether it's losing a loved one, going through a major personal health issue, or having our lives upended in some major way. We can't fall prey to the assumption that there will somehow be time in the future. Because what if there isn't?

We don't have to let a morbid obsession with our mortality guide us, but I do feel that if we are able to wrap our minds around the inherent impermanence that is our lives, sometimes this can help us stay in better alignment with what truly matters. Mindfulness and meditation can keep us more grounded, humble and grateful, and I am striving to make that more a part of my life. By conscientiously plugging into our existence more and taking time to reflect on what matters, we can be true to our north star and also have just a little more impetus to take steps to ensure we are doing what we can to stick around in this life.

Here's to continually learning and growing on our own wellness journeys!