We Give What We Can

This week, I struck out during my attempted platelet donation. I was all settled in, ready to watch my guilty pleasure - the season finale of Stranger Things - but the machine kept alarming because the "draw" arm was not cooperating. My nurse rallied a couple more staff members to try to secure more reliable access, bur unfortunately it was not meant to be. My vein had clotted and there was no path forward to donate that day.

There was a funny sense of disappointment I felt in not being able to successfully give. Maybe it was imagining the kiddo with cancer I couldn't help, or maybe it was the physician/caregiver in me who felt I had failed in living up to the needs of the community as we face a chronic shortage of platelet products. I mean, it wasn't my "fault" per se, but I reflected on what I could have done differently to set myself up for success - hydrate better? Said no to the rare beer I allowed myself to enjoy the day prior? Eaten a more substantial meal that morning? I mean, yes to all of those things, but also none of us is perfect. I had to give myself at lest an A for effort for showing up that day with the intention to give.

That being said, I do appreciate that this act of service is a unique experience that very concretely demonstrates the adage, "you can't pour from an empty cup". I've been constantly reminded of this with the large bruise left behind on my antecubital fossa...

Sometimes it's getting back to basics - eat, drink, rest. I tell my patients this all the time - but if you aren't fulfilling your basic needs, you're no good to anyone. So this was a clear reminder that sometimes you need to say no to someone else so you can say yes to yourself. The fact of the matter is that this week, I was overcommitted, which is my natural predisposition to be fair, and my body said no even though my mind wanted to say yes. 

I try to teach my kids (and patients) the power of listening to your body. We spend so much time in our mindspace that sometimes it takes some extra intentionality to drop in to our bodies and honor our physical needs. It's a practice and I'm grateful that when I have really invested in myself thoroughly, my physical cup is literally overflowing and I have some extra "liquid gold" to share with those in need.

Who knew that being a platelet donor would be the ultimate strategy for overachieving me to stay accountable to my own self-care?? To give, and see your donations fanning out across the country to folks who need it most, is a beautiful feeling. And sometimes it is the extra push I need to make sure I'm prioritizing my own health, so I can continue sharing this gift. 

If you are well and have some bandwidth to join the *super cool* club of blood donors, check out redcrossblood.org. 

Finding Connection in Stormy Times

When I was working on the wards during a recent rainstorm, the power at UCSD Hillcrest hospital went out. Of course the hospital generator had kicked in, so emergency power kept all the essentials running, but walking the basement floor to stay shielded from the downpour was eerie, to say the least…

Fortunately the FM wards team was invited to huddle up in the ED doc box (the work room for emergency medicine physicians) for our table rounds. We were grateful to share space with these folks whom we usually only overlap with briefly for handoffs on hospital admissions. It was such a gift to be able to get a better glimpse of the day-to-day of our emergency medicine colleagues while we reviewed our own census together. One of the EM attendings and I laughed together about getting to see this other side of each other’s services - enjoying the hilarious contrast of some of the abbreviated presentations in the acute setting (e.g. “dog bite - antibiotics - fine”) compared to us pontificating on some of the ways we family docs tailor our care to meet the needs of our patients (“let’s be thoughtful about how we order the diuretic regimen for this frail patient”).

In academic medicine, our institutions can be large and mighty, but often much too siloed. Having the opportunity to intermingle with other disciplines can be both insightful and build empathy and stronger connections between teams. And undoubtedly this better mutual understanding can strengthen our collaborative working relationships while improving patient care.

I can think of so many times where realtime interactions with my colleagues in other disciplines really enhanced not only the quality of patient care, but just felt good. Remembering that we’re all working together to help folks feel better can really fuel our sense of purpose and remind us that we are not alone in this sometimes grueling work of healthcare.

Looking forward to sharing more thoughts on this important theme through an interdisciplinary panel on collegiality in the workplace as part of “I’ve Got You” week. More to come!