We Give What We Can

This week, I struck out during my attempted platelet donation. I was all settled in, ready to watch my guilty pleasure - the season finale of Stranger Things - but the machine kept alarming because the "draw" arm was not cooperating. My nurse rallied a couple more staff members to try to secure more reliable access, bur unfortunately it was not meant to be. My vein had clotted and there was no path forward to donate that day.

There was a funny sense of disappointment I felt in not being able to successfully give. Maybe it was imagining the kiddo with cancer I couldn't help, or maybe it was the physician/caregiver in me who felt I had failed in living up to the needs of the community as we face a chronic shortage of platelet products. I mean, it wasn't my "fault" per se, but I reflected on what I could have done differently to set myself up for success - hydrate better? Said no to the rare beer I allowed myself to enjoy the day prior? Eaten a more substantial meal that morning? I mean, yes to all of those things, but also none of us is perfect. I had to give myself at lest an A for effort for showing up that day with the intention to give.

That being said, I do appreciate that this act of service is a unique experience that very concretely demonstrates the adage, "you can't pour from an empty cup". I've been constantly reminded of this with the large bruise left behind on my antecubital fossa...

Sometimes it's getting back to basics - eat, drink, rest. I tell my patients this all the time - but if you aren't fulfilling your basic needs, you're no good to anyone. So this was a clear reminder that sometimes you need to say no to someone else so you can say yes to yourself. The fact of the matter is that this week, I was overcommitted, which is my natural predisposition to be fair, and my body said no even though my mind wanted to say yes. 

I try to teach my kids (and patients) the power of listening to your body. We spend so much time in our mindspace that sometimes it takes some extra intentionality to drop in to our bodies and honor our physical needs. It's a practice and I'm grateful that when I have really invested in myself thoroughly, my physical cup is literally overflowing and I have some extra "liquid gold" to share with those in need.

Who knew that being a platelet donor would be the ultimate strategy for overachieving me to stay accountable to my own self-care?? To give, and see your donations fanning out across the country to folks who need it most, is a beautiful feeling. And sometimes it is the extra push I need to make sure I'm prioritizing my own health, so I can continue sharing this gift. 

If you are well and have some bandwidth to join the *super cool* club of blood donors, check out redcrossblood.org.