my take on "it gets better"

Text from the video:


I think back to my teenage years-- really questioning my identity, figuring out what was meaningful to me, and navigating the complex social dynamics of high school.  Most people would agree that adolescence can be a really challenging time, and something that can be even more difficult when you find yourself outside of the supposed mainstream in one way or another-- due to your sexual orientation, gender expression, or other aspects of yourself that supposedly make you "different".  


There are always going to be mean people.  Sometimes they hurt you with words, sometimes they even hurt you physically.  If something like this happens, please, PLEASE don't be afraid to seek out someone you trust, to problem-solve through the situation to ensure your future safety, but also just to vent about how much it hurts to be treated that way.  Also, when I find that I have been wronged by someone, it helps to remind myself that "hurt people, hurt people".  People suffering on the inside often cope by lashing out at others.  That doesn't make it right, but it helps you to be the better person and move to a place of healing and avoid spreading the hate, to others or to yourself.


I think what made high school a generally positive experience for me, even during the rough times, was having a solid support network to lean on.  No matter how easy or hard your life might seem, you can't do it all on your own-- you have to be willing to ask for help, to find a shoulder to cry on, and to stay connected.  It's when we disconnect and isolate ourselves that we get into dangerous situations-- feeling like there's no way out, and spiraling into a dark place where things like self-harm and suicide seem to be the only options.  Don't be afraid to reach out to others.  It not only gives you new perspectives to realize that things will get better, but also helps you find some hope that things can be better NOW if you allow it.  There will always be people who say and do evil things, but your strength to get through is amplified with the love and support of others who care about you-- whether it's family, close friends, or like-minded people that you find through the power of the internet.  I am one of those people.  I am your ally, and there are millions of people just like me who support you.  You are an inherently worthy person who deserves love, respect, and a full and happy life.  Don't deny yourself that, and certainly don't let others deny that of you.


Don't be afraid to speak up for yourself.  If you aren't able to do it in the heat of the moment, communicate with the powers that be to prevent it from happening in the future, to you and others who might be silently bearing the burden of bullying.  Contact your school administrators, LGBT advocacy and anti-bullying groups, and family and friends.  Rally for justice, whether it's giving testimony at school board meetings, writing your representatives in Congress, or talking to as many people as you can about the issues and how to make it better.  The more people are brave enough to share their story and help protect others from hateful intolerance, the more we are able to change attitudes and create a culture of acceptance that values diversity in all its forms.


I'm 28 years old and I can tell you that things do get better as you get a little older, feel more comfortable in your own skin, and find a space for yourself where you feel most loved and accepted for who you are.  But I hope you will allow yourself a chance to enjoy this time now, despite the challenges.  Surround yourself with wonderful people who will be a constant reminder that you are loved and that there is so much to live for, both now and in the future.


It gets better.