in true reflection, we embrace our existence.

i miss the therapeutic outlet of writing. i've been clammed up, probably from working so hard that the last thing i want to do is sit down and think through everything that's happened in the whirlwind of the last 5 months. also, with HIPAA rules i absolutely have to be very judicious about what i even process through about work on the public channels.

it's hard. which puts the onus on me to really take the time to debrief in-person on challenging or emotionally rending patient situations with my co-residents and faculty, so that it doesn't become a big ball of darkness and fury that continues to consolidate over my residency, leaving me drained and burned out. i refuse to lose my personhood! i will fight the tendency to minimize my feelings and experiences in an effort to be stoic and advance forward.


a day in the life on the wards~
hearts stop and start again, we pound on chests, people die.
families bring challenging dynamics to the table,
babies are born and it can be beautiful and simple and sweet, and others times sad and awful.
people can hang on forever, or leave us in an instant, and it seems so chaotic.
this is family medicine. we see it all.

i embrace this. it is hard work but so life-affirming. i will soak it up and let it simmer and turn it over in my mind and seek to understand and become stronger/wiser/grateful for it, connecting more deeply with my own existence on this planet and the journeys of others who cross my path. namaste.