"being with"

how many times a day do i tell my patients, 
take some slow, deep breaths.
as i listen to their lungs
and how many times do i tell myself to do the same?
not often. 
physician, heal thyself.

a doc asked me once, what's the first thing to do when you run to a code?
check your own pulse,
then check the patient's. 
it may come off as tongue-in-cheek, but it is sage advice.
how are we to help others if our own minds aren't calm and focused
to provide our very best care in a time of need?

i had an amazing mentor who shared a secret that always stuck with me:
at every patient's door, before the knock and the 
dive into the infinity,
he took a moment, 
said his own personal mantra,
releasing baggage from previous patient encounters,
wiping his mind clean of personal distractions,
grounding himself in that moment to be completely,
utterly present for his patient, 
to seek to understand, connect, and 
heal, body-mind-spirit.


lessons for today:

the rhythm of deep, focused breathing is incredibly healing (thank you, yoga). when all else fails, breathe. slow and deep. and remember your humanity.

we must take time, even a tiny moment, to
s l o w  d o w n. 
check in. are you okay? am i okay? 
what am i feeling right now?
bad or good, be present with it.

whether it's eyes open in awe
or closed in reflection,
be with it. and be with others.

it is all part of a practice in mindfulness, 
a quest for community with one's own true self
and deeper connection with others.
embrace it, soak it up, grasp at those deep moments before they 
slip between your fingers without a second thought,
let them color your personhood 
and interweave you into a more alive reality.