To be enough

When you look in the mirror, where do you first rest your eyes? Many of us go straight to the part we don’t like. 

And when you reflect on your day, the one negative encounter you have can completely wash out countless other lovely encounters that brought you joy and satisfaction. 

We obsess over our to-do lists and how we’re not living up to some set of expectations, but rarely take time to reflect on our ever-expanding “done” list.  

Why are we apt to be so self-critical? Is it a survival strategy to identify threats to our ideal existence? Is it an evolutionary trait to drive us towards growth and progress? Whatever it is, it’s a major problem that absolutely threatens our mental health, especially if we have perfectionistic traits.

So often we focus on the things about ourselves that we want to change, but how often do we really luxuriate in the aspects of ourselves that we want to hold onto? This was a charge in a writing workshop I recently attended, and I found myself strangely emotional. It was disconcerting that this practice felt unnatural and challenging. Why did this intentional act of self-love feel so unfamiliar and awkward?

When I challenged myself to lean into it and really extract some good to muse on, it was incredibly healing. Tears welled up as I gifted myself that moment of self-celebration. What a powerful act to take the time to reflect on the pieces of oneself that fill you with pride. 

And to take it a step further, when we can really embrace our whole, raw, perfectly imperfect selves with all our flaws and the messy parts, that is true empowerment. The words "embrace imperfect" dangle from my rear view mirror and constantly remind me of this need to cultivate rich self-compassion and heal the aching wounds of inadequacy. Imagine if we all gave ourselves the same love and nurturing that we invest externally. Can you be your own best friend?

I challenge you to look at yourself in the mirror and say, I am enough. It might feel strange, and you might not believe it at first, but you are a complete human being doing the best you can in this moment. And that is more than enough.

“A moment of self-compassion can change your entire day. A string of such moments can change the course of your life.” ― Christopher K. Germer