Fail Forward

Tears streamed down his cheeks with disappointment as folks laughingly declined his dandelions and found flowers he advertised as being "only five dollars!".

My son just wanted to have his own business, as he watched big sister successfully selling off her cookie inventory. I embraced him and tried to help him understand that the flowers unfortunately weren't nearly as appealing as the sweet treats. 

Suddenly something clicked in his little 5-year-old brain. He dried his cheeks and ran off to get some supplies. Before I knew it, he was churning out drawings and chasing after passersby, enthusiastically promoting his artwork for exorbitant prices, slowly bringing down the price until he hooked the customer in. One impressed individual even dug out a $2 bill for him to keep.

I've always been amazed at Ember's unfailing confidence - his ability to start up a conversation with a perfect stranger, his willingness to take risks, his sticktoitiveness, and his ability to be nimble when faced with adversity. I mean, let's admit it - it's hard to fail. It can make you want to hide in a dark closet and never come out. But some folks just have an uncanny ability to take it on the chin, dust off and get right back to it. Is it foolishness? Stubbornness? Denial? Or profound wisdom?

I think many of us could stand to learn a thing or two from this ability to switch gears and spin a failure into an opportunity for growth and greater knowing. For those of us who can easily struggle from analysis paralysis or let perfect be the enemy of good, it is a good reminder that if we aren't faced with disappointments or failures very often, we're probably not challenging ourselves or stretching our comfort zone enough. 

Of course it's a balance - you don't want to feel like you are constantly running ragged to meet some metric of success. It's important to have a foundation of self-compassion that allows you to return to a zone of safety when you feel too stretched. But it is fascinating to think about how much more innovation, and creativity might emerge in our society if people just gave themselves a little more room to fail forward. 

What can you do to push your boundaries and give yourself permission to discover and grow?